I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
