your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
