he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I checked into jail on foursquare
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
