I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
