i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
