her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize