I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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