I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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