The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
