My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
