We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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