When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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