I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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