Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
