ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize