so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
