Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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