He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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