that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
