I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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