its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
