bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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