Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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