I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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