I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
