Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
