You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
