do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize