I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
