I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
