She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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