And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
