Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
