The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
