i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
