His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
