if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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