Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
