There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
