I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
