I will die if light touches me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
