New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
