I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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