She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
