True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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