if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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