it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
