the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize