He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
