After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
