I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
