So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
