:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
