does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This toilet bowl is my home.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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