yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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