And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
