Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
