He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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