think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
